Ultimate Fighting Championship is about one thing and one thing only: Two guys trying to beat the shit out of each other until one guy either submits by tapping out or is knocked unconscious. Always has been and always will be.
Here at MyTattooGirls.com though, we're more about hot chicks going at it, as well as tattoos, so we're going to put a little theory to the test. UFC101 just got started a little while ago with the preliminary fights, so before it gets too far into it, we're going to make some predictions.
Fuck the fighting styles and size differences, throw the records and injuries and scouting reports out the window. All we're concerned with is who's got the more badass ink of the two fighters involved in each fight. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
BJ Penn vs. Kenny Florian (Main Event — UFC Lightweight Championship): Talk about lightweights. Yeah, these guys might be some of the toughest dudes, pound-for-pound in the octagon, beating their opponents to a bloody pulp, but their ink—or lack thereof—is a fucking shame. Penn has absolutely nothing, while all we could find on Florian is a tiny little something-something on his inner bicep. Winner: Florian
Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin: Neither of these guys have any tattoos, but fuck it, we're going with Forrest Griffin only because he looks like he'd be one hardcore motherfucker with some ink. Winner: Griffin
Ricardo Almeida vs. Kendall Grove: Now we're finally talking! Ricardo Almeida joins Silva, Griffin and Penn in the "I'd Be a Total Monster If Only I Had Some Tattoos" Club, but Grove is quite the ink addict. The dude's got two sleeves, a piece that goes between his neck and chest, an abdomen piece and some ink that goes right under the right side of his his right pec. If there were a MyTattooGuys, Grove would be under contract. Winner: Grove
Josh Neer vs. Kurt Pellegrino: Another one-sided affair, this time in favor of Pellegrino. One half sleeve, one full sleeve that looks as though it connects to the ribs. Neer, on the other hand, looks as if he's never even been near a tattoo parlor. Winner: Pellegrino
Johny Hendricks vs. Amir Sadollah: Neither of the two have a single tattoo that we can see. Isn't there supposed to be a rule in UFC requiring all fighters to have at least one fucking tattoo?! If not, I'm petitioning for that shit. Winner: Split Decision
Aaron Riley vs. Shane Nelson: Nelson's got a sleeve, a half-sleeve and a stomach piece, while Riley has jack shit. Anyone who can endure the pain of a stomach tattoo has a seriously high pain threshold. Expect Riley to get his ass handed to him. Winner: Nelson
John Howard vs. Tamdan McCrory: At the weigh-in, Howard looked like half-computer geek, half-killer with his dorky glasses and ink. Nothing major for Howard, just some stuff on his arm, underarm and rib, but that beats McCrory's big ol' goose egg. Winner: Howard
Alessio Sakara vs. Thales Leites: Sakara's got a full chest piece that connects to his sleeves and a full back piece and Leites has virgin skin. If Leites makes it out alive, or even with his limbs fully attached and functional, more power to him. Winner: Sakara
Dan Cramer vs. Matthew Riddle: Neither has any visible tattoos, but Riddle looks like Carrot Top's douchebag brother, wearing sunglasses to the weigh-in, so our money is on Cramer. Winner: Cramer
George Sotiropoulos vs. George Roop: We were originally going to take the safe bet and just go with "A Guy Named George," but Roop actually has some sleeve work and a stomach piece, whereas Sotiropoulos has nothing but a name that's hard to spell and even harder to pronounce. After tonight though, Sotiropoulos might actually have a tattoo—of Roop's fists, imprinted on his face. Winner: Roop
Danillo Villefort vs. Jesse Lennox: Nothing. Nothing at all. This is probably—or at least hopefully—where Brock Lesnar comes in with his big-ass sword chest-to-stomach piece and annihilates both. Winner: Some guy without tattoos.
Now, please note that this here was not meant as a disrespect in any way, shape or form to anyone without tattoos, but we're just doing a little experiment, trying to see here if tattoos really do make guys bigger, badder, tougher. That's it. We'll see in a couple hours how things end up.
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